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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?